So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
