Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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