i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
