matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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