I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
