somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Even my vagina gasped.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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