uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
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Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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