I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
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