She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
i black out too much to be "responsible"
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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