I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
