so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
