I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
