I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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