I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
