I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
This baby is an asshole
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I have fence marks all over my body
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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