he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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