why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
grandma shit on top of the toilet
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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