careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
We have started to decorate penises.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
