I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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