you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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