Redeem this text for a blowjob
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
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I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
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