well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
