Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
