brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
