Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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