don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
