One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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