I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
