You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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