butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
