Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
