omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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