to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
