I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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