Cold hands, warm shart.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
