I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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