WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
you never un-have a 4some
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
