You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
My bed smells like the plague
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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