My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
