i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
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