Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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