don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
this will be a night to untag.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
