He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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