I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
