how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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