this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
