i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
