im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
