big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
