i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
