so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
where am i from again
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
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