used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
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I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
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I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
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