well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
