she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
