I saw his package. It spoke to me.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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