He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
