You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
