okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
