He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
