My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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