So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize