You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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